36 Questions to Bring You Closer Together
Here they are, in order:
1. Given the
choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like
to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a
phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?
4. What would
constitute a perfect day for you?
5. When did you
last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were
able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year
old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
7. Do you have a
secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three
things you and your partner appear to have in common.
10. If you could
change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four
minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could
wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal
ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything
else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there
something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?
15. What is the
greatest accomplishment of your life?
18. What is your
most terrible memory?
19. If you knew
that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the
way you are now living? Why?
20. What does
friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do
love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate
sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share
a total of five items.
23. How close and
warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier
than most other people's?
24. How do you
feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three
true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this
room feeling..."
26. Complete this
sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."
27. If you were
going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be
important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your
partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might
not say to someone you've just met.
29. Share with
your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you
last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your
partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything,
is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to
die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you
most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?
34. Your house,
containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to
safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the
people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a
personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle
it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling
about the problem you have chosen.
... and a few variations:
- If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born
child, would you do it?
- Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares for
a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
- While on a trip to another city, your
spouse/lover meets and spends a night with an exciting stranger. Given
that they will never meet again, and could never otherwise learn of the
incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it?
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